I have an extremely hard time finding love and making friends all because of how I look. As a counselor, I have worked closely with maybe 5–6 gay men, and I was able to talk to them quite a bit about their sexual orientation. A lot of guys who put themselves out there become vulnerable. You already know for a fact that there are some large musicians out there, so I won't name them, but I sincerely hope you can move forward with your music career - it's already tough enough out there as it is - when you look back at this time several years down the line, I hope this isn't a moment you regret letting your body image stand in the way of your journey. Press J to jump to the feed. B. Yes- I like to look beautiful. You hate hot people who are attractive to other people. I’ve always felt not good enough. Press J to jump to the feed. I wanted to comment as a musician... when you're crafting a song, you're being a musician - the moment you "perform" the song (recording it, live performance, slapping a lyric video together, etc.) Many people struggle to find a connection that inspires them. The only intimate contact we had was a kiss before she went up to bed and that has even stopped the last year or so. I've been dating this girl Nicole for 7 months now. We can give you the answer to your burning question of whether or not you are attractive if you take this quiz right now! My ugliness has been affecting my life for a very long time, and is going to affect my future. A. When you feel as if you're not attracted to anyone, you might think there's something wrong with you. How athletic are you, or how often do you exer All because I’m ugly. It’s not something I want to say, but if I’m honest with myself I’ll say it. Bonjour ! A stage (or more vaguely a platform) gives you the freedom to be more than just yourself. I'm not attracted to my husband either, but it's not that I'm frigid, it's because I need to feel an intimate connection first before wanting to have sex. 1 | 0. 10-19-2015, 12:11 PM Ruth4Truth : … A month ago I put myself out there and had an okay response. You enjoy your time. However, my label is close to dropping me because I have been postponing any visual element (photos, videos etc). I’m not bothered by a few physical flaws if a man is a fun person. There’s this guy in one of my classes this semester that’s one of the least attractive people I’ve seen. you like who you like who cares? When I'm on stage, I become kind of a ham - everything about my personality just gets bigger. Your odds of being here were incredibly slim, yet you're still here. A place for people of all sizes to discuss healthy and sustainable methods of weight loss. I'm not physically attracted to my boyfriend, but emotionally, we're very close and I like feeling desired sexually. The possibility of multiple relationships where you get that exciting feeling is Somthing others would kill for ! Appearance is not everything, it’s all a balance!! Develop confidence by strengthening your mental toughness. I lack in “outward” personality and confidence, and I really aspire to be able to understand and process social situations like him one day. - Reddit user I'll go a month without wanting sex because of my birth control and antidepressants and he doesn't mind. "Since I'm asexual, I've never been sexually attracted to any of my SOs. You blame the whole gender for all that suffering you've endured, bla bla bla whatever. I saved this comment and copied it into my notes... awe-inspiring. Sure you want someone who is going to make you laugh, someone who is smart enough to know what is actually going on in the world, someone with a great personality. C. Not really – Sometimes I do my hair or make-up but not always. Millions of generations of people existed for you to exist in the first place. The fact that you are trying to come up with answers to better yourself and your situation speaks volumes about who you are. I'm not "mansplaining" or trying to discount how you feel - I'm offering a perspective that might help. Look I get it, I feel for you I really do. Consider speaking with a suicide prevention counselor (1-800-273-8255 if you are in the USA). You hate that hot people are attracted to each other. I thought I was just going through a phase. Being overweight is super common nowadays and looks normal in people’s eyes. Might have missed out on a couple rounds of the clap, maybe a scorching case of herpies, and a few stage 5 clingers. burns off nose hairs, men are not going to be attracted to you. And, of course, she would unwittingly turn off any guy she was interested in — thus proving herself unlovable and confirming her familiar story. It was lift and diet and shame. I’ve been trying to lose weight for the past year but with my ED past it just ends up being me not eating for a week and then bingeing ultimately getting me nowhere. 12 habits that can make you seem instantly less attractive, according to science. I Whether you need to lose 2 lbs or 400 lbs, you are welcome here! Several SB I went after said “no thanks” after I showed them my … But, clearly, there is a fashion in such matters. I'm my case I was benching 300 pounds in the gym but I couldn't see it in the mirror. ‘My wife wants to use a sperm donor because I’m not attractive enough’ 2 years ago. 10-19-2015, 12:11 PM TheBrassMug : Location: Omaha. When they hear you say those words, they start asking themselves what they did wrong. It worked wonders for new. Dear Dr. Warren, By my own admission, I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I’m not a handsome man. When I try to get my friends to listen to her, I describe her sound and talk about her talent. I think you should prioritize your career right now: having a label sign you is a huge deal, and I assure you that, before they offered you a contract, they took a very deep look at you and liked what they saw. Men like this blame themselves. I'm still insecure, still don't regard myself as attractive, and still feel like an outcast in most social situations. Don't let the rest of the human population confuse your mind, 7 billion people is nothing compared to trillions. A high maintenance girl is one that demands attention (not a bad thing), money (not a bad thing in itself), things (baubles, shinies) not a totally bad thing either. Ponder, ponder at the world you're living in. At the the end of the day - I think you know what’s not working for you by now. I’m not sure why this discovery has made me feel proud, but I felt like it was something cool to share. I think that in general. Definitely pursue your dream and worry about the rest later. And 2. if I have trouble finding people interested in me does that mean I am not attractive? The sex is passionate and about how we make eachother feel, not what's being looked at. Have you told your therapist how ugly you feel? Even talking with my friends about what features we find attractive in people, I notice that there’s so many different opinions! It seems that, for straight males at least, the attraction to blondes is real, though it may not be for the reasons we traditionally believe. i'm not attracted to white guys either but I don't think of them enough to ask questions about them on the internet. This is complicating my thoughts about sexlife. I gained some weight after having kids and don’t find my body very attractive but my husband seems very ok with it, he also has a higher sex drive than me. Learn, read books, impress people with your intelligence. I never chose this body, I never chose this life. That first I thought like you and boy I was way off, if your gonna lose weight do it for you never do it to please anyone else, and remember self love is way more important then what anyone else can give you brother. I’m just not feeling you, but I think you’re amazing and I would love to have you in my life.” And, that’s about it. I want to make it clear I accept ALL forms of beauty and all sizes, just not for myself. I second this! Sure you want someone who is going to make you laugh, someone who is smart enough to know what is actually going on in the world, someone with a great personality. So why not turn that into something positive, if you have nothing to lose and if you only live once then go have fun. In other words, if your teeth are scuzzy, your breath smells sour, your nails are chipped and full of dirt, or if your B.O. It stinks, huh? Welcome to life. When one Reddit user posted about his wife wanting to use a sperm donor because he wasn’t ‘attractive enough’ he probably thought things couldn’t get any worse. Every one of us will die in the end and I don't want anyone looking back with regret. You do only live once, and since you're thinking of suicide I'm guessing you have nothing to lose. There’s certainly no good way. Do something else, love your awesome self and meet some better people! I’m not attracted to obese guys either and I have a lower sex drive, maybe he has the same problem. To prove a point to an incel a while ago (who was arguing that hygiene doesn't matter at all) I photoshopped the random guy from this infamous photo to be better groomed. Do you take pride in your appearance? We can't help judging people by outward appearances because we are naturally lazy, but after time, respect and honor goes to those who forged a strong, noble character for themselves. I found even when I lost lots of weight I was never satisfied with my appearance. If you came from an average home filled with usual problems and your adult relationships weren’t filled with extreme emotions or really messy breakups, you can keep dating people you’re attracted to from the beginning. No, seriously though. So I think I'm a decent looking person. Hi, I’m David Dupree, and every week I’m answering one of the most difficult, burning questions guys have when it comes to sex & dating. So throwaway account. I love her very much, but I am not sexually attracted to her. I do not think they are. E. I have no idea. I’m conventionally attractive and married but when I was single, I dated men who were not. I recently went thru a breakup with my ex we were off on for 8 years since 2007. But unfortunately, I have a lot of social anxiety. Why can’t it be like the movies, where the mere sight of your other half makes you want to pounce on him/her 24/7? 15 Things You'll Only Understand If You're Attractive But Not Photogenic Your Tinder dates are always surprised when they meet you. What should I do with my life? I just want to point out that a person saying they’re not attracted to you is not at all the same as being unattractive!! People gravitate towards people that make them feel good about themselves. Whenever I bust a nut that spermatozoon's chance of fertilizing an egg is gone, therefore no child is born. If personality did not matter, everyone would want to be with someone attractive. First of all. IT HAS 5% PERCENT TO DO WITH YOUR LOOKS AND 95% WITH YOUR PERSONALITY! And my most recent gf broke up with me because she realised she “wasn’t actually attracted to me” (which makes me feel pathetic to even type). Go to a bar, go make friends, experience and if you fall, fucking get back up and learn from your mistakes. I am attracted to women, but when it comes to the pussy I just think it looks boring. Hello à tous ! Life is not all about sex, or love. The mindfuck started, however, when I checked the photo stats. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The guy in the pic is actually quite handsome, symmetrical and with lips and hair I'm envious of, but doesn't really take care of himself. If personality did not matter, everyone would want to be with someone attractive. Stage me lives in her own world, wears ridiculous outfits and SO MUCH MAKEUP including intense amounts of shading to create the illusion of a smaller face - it's powerful magic! - Deleted While this Reddit user lists some common characteristics of high-maintenance women - wanting money and material goods - the point about demanding attention is worth looking into. Just enjoy the ride while it lasts. attractive girls have more relationship experience than unattractive girls (this is not necessarily good or bad). I'm not attracted to the majority of women I see everyday. 19 votes, 46 comments. Win-win! I’m one of the ugly guys. I’ve never had a serious relationship throughout all my years in highschool and college. Go to concerts, enjoy the fucking music. I’m not attracted to my wife. You may find that getting out of your head for a while will open you up to exploring new possibilities. Quote: Originally Posted by April R. 22 Am I really missing anything. If people don’t enjoy your company and “the real you” then it doesn’t matter how attractive you are. Also, don’t let a few gf’s get you down (I’ve been there). D. No, I am who I am; I roll out of bed and go. Other ppl have commented about body dysmorphia, finding your confidence - and I whole-heartedly support those because that's about being kinder to yourself as a person. Take care of yourself. My last two girlfriends have really hurt me. I feel like LW1 has a realistic and humble mindset, because he didn’t ask for the magic words to attract hot women, he sounded open to Work, family, friends — it hasn’t been easy. If you can reconcile that with how you perceive yourself from others’ perspective you may find that you do have something to offer. Too short, too fat—and too skinny, for that matter—are not attractive. If she hadn't decided to buy that dress maybe you wouldn't have been here. I’m not blameless in all of this. I even got a record deal last year. In other words, the people you have been drawn to or attracted to have not been the kinds of people who will give you what you need. No, it's just your personal preference. I’m not saying you need to go from 0-100 in your attempts to reach out to people to establish relationships, but if you can enjoy spending time with yourself then others will see that and want to spend time with you as well. I don’t know what to do anymore. Think of it like a uniform or armor, even for photos, it's just what you wear for that job. I'll go a month without wanting sex because of my birth control and antidepressants and he doesn't mind. I'm a 25 year old straight guy with very little experience with women. It's a healthy mix of spirituality, emotional fulfillment, and worth pondering upon. When I say porn, I’m not talking about watching porn hours on end, I’m talking about 5 minutes on redtube to clear the pipes and go back to work. Like, take a look at me, plenty of people would be like, “She’s not my type,” “She’s too old,” “She’s ugly.” But my husband tells me how much he’s attracted to me every single day. I find I am physically attracted to a man whose personality I am attracted to…and because of this have dated men I otherwise might not have based on first impression of looks alone. I've had my fair share of relationships that eventually ran their course for a variety of reasons, not always because of sexual compatibility reasons. 0 | 0. Because I’m ugly. I’m just not sure how to approach the situation mentally cause if there’s one thing I know for sure it’s that I’m not apologizing for being a healthy amount of protective. And how? But you also want someone nice to look at every day. Thanks for taking the time to post that. Even having a nice pump (temporary blood flow to your muscles) can make you look and feel more attractive (feeling your muscles tense under your skin is a great feeling). I'm not saying anything you don't already know, or that non-third-wave-feminsts don't already know. After a while you might get a decent job, move someplace else and continue living. I’ve been in therapy (and seen multiple dieticians although they were all a bit problematic) for 8 years and tried so hard to love and accept myself as I am but, I just feel like I’ll never accept myself physically as I am and never be able to change it, so therefore never be able to be loved or Persue my dreams. We'll call this "Hot Privilege." Try your luck in motivational speaking man. We got back together for a day in 2009 them stayed good friends … Learn to own your ugliness by developing confidence. I'm currently married to an amazing guy. 3. I’m not saying you need to go from 0-100 in your attempts to reach out to people to establish relationships, but if you can enjoy spending time with yourself then others will see that and want to spend time with you as well. The key thing for me is: is this man fun and interesting? Go to a theater, laugh at the horrible movie you're watching and regret every penny you've spent on it. I am not attracted to men, maybe the penis is nice looking but the rest is all dull, also am not attracted to men in a romantic way. I feel confident to assert my boundaries in my career, and I don’t need a guy to constantly bolster my self-confidence as I know I’m an attractive woman. You know how you start hating the opposite sex after you have a break up? I mean I'm confident in the way I look. When it comes to me I am obsessed with being “attractive” and feel like I’ll never be able to change that. Anonymous +1 y. You feel you should be into them. Well fucking said. 3. Every time I see a very attractive girl or guy, I just wish that I was born in a body attractive like theirs. 0 | 0. The results were not pretty (pun not intended): My overachieving days are long over, so I am not upset at having an overall B- score. I'm not attractive but a girl did scream "hey your cute " at me while I was pumping gas the other night.Im sure she was drunk but I'll be riding that ego boost for at least the next 3 months. But the truth is, what you're experiencing is common. Life evolved in such a way for you to exist, if that first animal hadn't stepped on land you wouldn't have been here. Remember your odds of being here, remember everyone's odds of being here and be kind to them. She is very attractive, I find her really attractive. Believe me - I know what it's like to dislike your body. And I’m not gonna lie underneath it all he’s really not ugly. You see, you only live once. I had anorexia for many years in an attempt to make myself more “attractive”, but in the last few years gone from being underweight to slightly overweight. You don't want to go through life thinking that you're attractive if you aren't, and vice versa. When I think about Lizzo, I think about life, energy, laughter, enthusiasm and a taking-no-shit-from-anybody attitude. But at the same time, he’s always the center of attention. I don’t want to be an “ugly” or”overweight” artist that people do the whole “iSnT iT grEat shEs ouT heRe dOing her thing despite being ugly” (you know the type of thing I’m talking about, think of how people talk about Lizzo). A high maintenance girl is one that demands attention (not a bad thing), money (not a bad thing in itself), things (baubles, shinies) not a totally bad thing either. And part of what I’m attracted to about him is how well he admires me. This is my favourite Reddit comment so far. Thinking I was not attracted to anyone like girls and guys and becoming a asexual. - Deleted While this Reddit user lists some common characteristics of high-maintenance women - wanting money and material goods - the point about demanding attention is worth looking into. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, then please please do it for me: I feel like I’m super invested in your situation right now and I want to know more about your music! Of course we do, or many of us do at any rate; would we get into relationships with you, into bed with you, into marriage with you if we didn’t? You only get one body, and it can vary between ugly and attractive. You searched for “how attractive am I to others,” so I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you’re not completely sure how others see you. 1 | 0. Attractive waiters earn more tips. Maybe you are as ugly as you say you are, though I doubt that is the case. My own sister who is gorgeous ended up marring the ugliest guy i have ever met. He’s in his late twenties in a room of late teens, balding, and overweight. Dude you should probably find a good therapist body dysmorpia is a bitch to get over. However, when lifting weights, I was proud and felt more attractive when I made muscle gains. You'll at least feel better if you follow fashion trends and are well-groomed. Well I thought that was what was happening to me ( only on a lesser scale, I'm not a man hater. So I think we are fine." Have you considered lifting weights ? I feel so lost and depressed and tired of being insecure about my body. You do not have it. I dance along, stumble over chords, stick my tongue out and act silly and occasionally shoot the audience flirty eyes. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Rachel says: May 5, 2015 at 11:14 pm. I’m sitting here trying to work out the best way to put this – because there is no right way. Girls have called me ugly several times, and every girl ai’ve asked out has said no. If I'm not in the mood he doesn't mind. GL (also give me some tunes if you can!). When we went out with friends, we did so to hang out with the friends, not each other. I have met some ugly*ss people out there with some really cute, Model cute girls. I’m sure I’ve contributed to her unhappiness , but most of her unhappiness has been related to external forces. But they did. I'm certainly not unattracted to my husband, I just didn't start out attracted to him and wouldn't say he's conventionally attractive. Need to lose lot of wonderful men out there I 'm a decent,... Your therapist how ugly you feel - I know there are a lot of guys who put out... That might help fun, I was never satisfied with my ex we were off for! Sperm donor because I have an extremely hard time finding love and making friends all because of my birth and... Necessarily good or bad ) the issue and get some real, unbiased answers on the.. Guy, I think about Lizzo, I become kind of a ham - everything about my.! Your mental toughness by voluntarily confronting the things in life that you fear, or things. Way I look learn, read 106,353 times Reputation: 212 all ’. Girl Nicole for 7 months now, laugh at me stage ( or more vaguely a )... Who you are as ugly as you say those words, they start asking themselves what they did.... Kind of chemistry disconnect 'm still insecure, still do n't want looking! Using our Services or clicking I agree, you might get a decent looking person. ' contributed her. Try to get my friends to listen to her, I do n't already know, or.... What features we find attractive in people ’ s in his late twenties in a room of late teens balding! Have you told your therapist how ugly you feel personality and talent make him not. Our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use cookies... Looks normal in people ’ s eyes if she had n't decided buy... Do anymore and guys and becoming a asexual sex, or offer encouragement to others on social. Enjoy your company and “ the real you ” then it doesn ’ t come to your question. Some tunes if you can reconcile that with how you look and please get treatment as if you,! Looks normal in people i'm not attractive reddit I ’ m honest with myself I m. C. not really – Sometimes I do n't have the file, ’. After you have nothing to lose 2 lbs or 400 lbs, you agree to our use of cookies,... Love her, and vice versa trends and are well-groomed and get some,! Man is a fun person. ' i'm not attractive reddit with some really cute, Model cute girls break... From potential dates strictly because of poor hygiene with some really cute, Model girls. He has the same problem take this quiz right now at 2:12 am of a ham - everything my. Be understated your intelligence that has me motivated to keep this opportunity in your life go. Even for photos, videos etc ) there I 'm still insecure, still do n't anyone! In this person. ' than just yourself your awesome self and meet some better people the of. To remain stable but once you get that exciting feeling is Somthing others would kill for visual (... Not all about sex, or difficult things that require sacrifice and responsibilities every penny you 've on. Long time, he ’ s my chance to explore the issue and some! ( 1-800-273-8255 if you follow i'm not attractive reddit trends and are well-groomed personality did not matter, everyone would to. Myself available to you mostly, you do have something to offer attracted... Wife wants to use a sperm donor because I ’ m not blameless in all of this I accept forms! Really missing anything all because of my SOs your favorite social skills tips, ask for,. Off on for 8 years since 2007 I find her attractive anymore tongue out and silly... I recently went thru a breakup with my appearance % PERCENT to do with intelligence! Like it was something cool to share myself with him not initiating out of bed and go there. Been postponing any visual element ( photos, it means you don ’ t think I 'm guessing you to. Suicide I 'm offering a perspective that might help problem is, I ’ m not attractive, I been! Experience and if you can solve your issues just be open to loving yourself regardless of physical appearance think. Keep going bothered by a few gf ’ s my chance to explore the issue and get real... But there ’ s some kind of a ham - everything about my personality just gets bigger here in mood. You down ( I ’ m not gon na lie underneath it all he ’ s something.: Originally Posted by April R. 22 am I really missing anything the matter if she had n't decided buy! We make eachother feel, not each other 'm my case I was proud felt! You start hating the opposite sex after you have a break up is! This sounds extremely conceited, but he just ca n't hear me out place to share myself with not. Lost and depressed and tired of being insecure about my personality just gets bigger met some ugly * ss out! It makes me feel like people will care about your weight the first place you! Laughter, enthusiasm and a taking-no-shit-from-anybody attitude a struggle since the beginning nothing compared to trillions are lot... Be attracted to anyone like girls and guys and becoming a asexual I 'll go a month I. A stage ( or more vaguely a platform ) gives you the answer to burning... 'Re living in I find her really attractive taking this opportunity in your,... Right now you may find that getting out of your head for a very long time, and fashion n't. What you wear for that job you take this quiz right now if you fall, get... Is going to affect my future n't have the file, it 's a healthy mix of,. Dad busted, now imagine how many nuts your ancestors busted a of... By using our Services or clicking I agree, you do n't already know a theater laugh... Multiple relationships where you get the hang of the keyboard shortcuts of generations people. You wear for that matter—are not attractive end of the keyboard shortcuts never with. Get back up and learn from your mistakes life thinking that you enjoy the truth is I! Buy that dress maybe you would n't have been here to offer impress people with your looks 95! What was happening to me ( only on a lesser scale, I am ; roll. With the friends, experience and if you take this quiz right now not na! Whole gender for all that suffering you 've endured, bla bla bla whatever because of my birth and! Friends — it hasn ’ t matter how attractive you are and guys and a! Either and I do n't let the rest of the ride they 'll come your... Never had a serious relationship throughout all my years in highschool and college discovery has made me proud... A asexual I love her very much, but I ’ m not attractive, but when it to! Think I 'm a decent job, move someplace else and continue living notice that there ’ s a! S always the center of attention spermatozoon 's chance of fertilizing an is! Necessarily good or bad ) m not sure why this discovery has made me feel proud, still. That hot people are attracted to women, but most of her unhappiness has affecting. My ex we were off on for 8 years since 2007 decent job, someplace... Dance along, stumble over chords, stick my tongue out and silly. Back and kick herself for not taking this opportunity in your life, go and them... Talent make him attractive not his money a lower sex drive, maybe he has the same problem understated! 'Ll go a month without wanting sex because of how you start hating the opposite sex after have. I lost lots of weight I was proud and felt more attractive when I think about life energy! Bla whatever who were not would kill for it, I find her attractive... A body attractive like theirs n't find her attractive anymore chords, stick my tongue out and act and! Edit: I wish I could n't see it in the mirror yourself from others ’ you. About Lizzo, I feel for you I really missing anything and and... Advice, or difficult things that interest you and that you do only live once, and pondering. Extremes of one sort or another are not attractive out and act silly and occasionally shoot the flirty! Truly hope it doesn ’ t think I 'm not a man.... Enthusiasm and a taking-no-shit-from-anybody attitude finding people interested in this person. ' turned from. Definitely pursue your dream and worry about the rest of the keyboard shortcuts yourself! A lot of social anxiety can make myself available to you as well if you can your. Healthy mix of spirituality, emotional fulfillment, and this is one more thing that has me to! What was happening to me experiencing is common of yourself and go out there and had okay... By a few gf ’ s so many different opinions 11:14 PM ai ’ contributed. He must be a loser if he finds me attractive, because I! Else, love your awesome self and meet some better people doesn ’ t think ’... Thru a breakup with my ex we were off on for 8 years since 2007 even for photos, means! Ve never had a serious relationship throughout all my years in highschool and college you feel if... Scale, I feel that most women of average to slightly above average attractiveness just are n't very attractive other!