I like this part because in life you've never "made it." ching videos without doing a single approach. We have these fantasies, whether it’s to be a billionaire or to sleep with “10s”. Just like confidence, this can’t be faked. You've never arrived, IMHO. Intellectual learning is only useful if you’re spending most of your time in the real world getting real feedback. There are two important misconceptions about looks that must be cleared up: -Waiting to get in shape before meeting women is a silly idea. Treat dating like a skillset by taking it one step at a time. I'm no seduction expert but I've been through my share of experiences and whenever I can help someone with a situation that I went through then I'll go for it. Focusing on your looks while neglecting to actually interact with women is a recipe for failure. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I think I have the confidence, the standards and the appearance parts going well, but I definitely need to start working on my social skills. #4 is a second date dealbreaker for 86% of women - make sure YOU'RE not doing it. In fact, the harder you try to get a woman to like you, the less attractive you will be to her. "Your appearance is something that you can constantly improve, but you’ll never reach a particular point where you’ve “made it”. No, these guys can’t change their race, but they can learn to lead interactions forward, to speak louder, or to approach more attractive women. Whatever you want to accomplish in life, there are certain elements that are outside of your control. When we lack self-confidence with women, we think that rejection is the worst thing that could happen to us. First, you have to work really hard not to slip into misogyny. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Don’t think about your race, think about your confidence. It shows that you take getting with a girl way too seriously and that you see yourself as incapable of getting another girl of her caliber if you wanted to. -If she’s unhealthily narcissistic, I’m out. I wrote an program in the mid 90s to schedule rides for a ride company with touch tones and pagers. Even if you're scared as fuck, YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT TO YOURSELF AND DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. In layman’s terms, it is the largest social news website in the world. Writing a list of the things you won’t tolerate in a potential sexual partner and rejecting women who don’t meet those standards is a powerful strategy for becoming more attractive to women. Daily showers, shampoo & conditioner (shampoo & conditioner recommended to be used less than daily to preserve hair, I believe), deodorant (for the love of god NOT spray-on Axe), etc. Learning how to attract women without practicing is just as absurd as trying to learn any other skill without practicing. They see girls as a means to an end. Awesome post, I agreed to everything you said. Similarly, a short Asian guy with a below average face can succeed with women IF he works twice as hard as his competition and focuses on the factors that are under his control. How do you actually do that? Is it really surprising that someone who thinks like this has trouble with women? But the end result is easily worth it. I walked up to a beautiful girl and said, “Hey, I thought you were cute, and I had to say hi.”. I’d be doing it, so I could tell my friends about, not because to do so would actually be enjoyable. -I know another guy who is great at opening girls, but he’s so quiet they don’t pay attention to him. At some point, thins will get easier. Become a Premium Member We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. If you’re naturally a four on a looks scale, I can’t promise that you’ll be able to date Victoria’s Secret models, but you can still bat way out of your league and hook up with attractive girls. When you tell yourself, “Girls don’t like Asians,” you’re going to see your interactions with women through that lens. On the contrary, when she’s with a less attractive man, she doesn’t sweat it as much and is, in actuality, happier. I bought your kindle book "the trial" instantly. Did a couple times and always slid back. Get a high-end salon haircut. I never saw her again. The second is making women admire you. Becoming the most attractive version of yourself requires that you invest both time and effort in yourself. Instead of being the guy who will do anything to get with the hot girl, you want to be the guy who’s interested in the hot girl but hasn’t decided if he wants to sleep with her yet. Treat it like something entirely based on your genetics, and you’ll just drown yourself in self-pity. Self-confidence doesn’t mean you expect every girl to like you, it simply means that you’re okay with the consequences of taking a risk, even if the girl doesn’t like you. If anything, my social skills got worse because I became so overanalytical. Dating coaches who say factors like your race and height don’t matter are lying. Reading is how to do this is the easy part, becoming more Most Men And Women Find First Dates To Be One Of The Scariest Parts Of Trying To Find Love, So We Found Out What Men On Reddit Say The Most Attractive Women Do On To Keep Them Coming Back For More. They simply took an existing product or process and made it easier/better/convenient/etc. But 100 years later Musk/Tesla brought them to mass market. Any of the four tips can change your life individually, but master all four and you won’t believe the successes you’ll have. When it comes to being good at science. Imagining what a good basketball shot looks like is completely different from taking the actual shot. Your appearance is something that you can constantly improve, but you’ll never reach a particular point where you’ve “made it”. They were people I could admire. Every time we drive - and we live to tell the tale - we become a little more confident in ourselves as a driver. There is absolutely nothing *new* with what you are saying but it's very nicely redacted and concise. We only use techniques because on some level we don’t believe we’re good enough by default, so we try to make up for our inadequacy with a line or a trick(1). If I were white that wouldn’t have happened.”. The Reddit thread "How to be an attractive man" contains a ton of advice to help men fix up and look sharper. HAVE MORE THAN ONE. The below answer is fully copied from, I endorse majority of its content so sharing it here- hope it helps How to Look More Handsome: 17 Hacks to Handsomeness - Global Seducer 1. Improve your appearance while also improving your social skills. The most important take-aways from this are that you can’t fake confidence, and that it will take time to develop – BUT your level of confidence is completely under your control and improving it will make you more attractive. I could give countless examples like the above. Eat healthy food, and get enough sleep. The other key to treating dating like a skill, is to practice. That fear causes us to filter ourselves in conversation, to adopt defensive body language, and even to speak with a weaker vocal tonality. Of raw confidence... Just my 2 cents. If you fixate on whether you can get “perfect tens” you’re just going to cause yourself frustration. Any of the four tips can change your life individually, but master all four and you won’t believe the successes you’ll have. Mentions sports as how to be attractive 3 or 5 times... Just a thought but maybe theres more to having the opposite sex find you attractive than tackling men in little shorts for 80 minutes. The question is, can this information help hard core cases. How to be handsome starts on the INSIDE (in more ways than you'd believe.) Did you know that Electric cars were a thing over 100years ago? The best way to make yourself more By treating dating as a skillset, you can date higher quality women than you would otherwise. Things that make women admire you take more time to develop. The word "man" is often used in a neutral sense, lacking either favorable or unfavorable suggestion. And, the guy who started Uber failed 10X before he made it big. At least for me anyway. That said, you can make a staggering improvement in your appearance in the course of a single day. The most attractive people I've dated had an inviting livingspace (it was clean and reasonably tidy), didn't need my skills to improve their life (could cook, maintain healthy habits, had hobbies), and were learners (actively filled gaps in their knowledge/skill base to improve their own life). I’ve seen numerous good-looking guys fail at game. My reason as to why I'm still here is to help out. It takes patience, time, and effort to do so. But if you're looking for even more assistance (it's ok, we're not crying, it's just windy outside today), then you could always turn to Reddit, where a thread titled How To Be An Attractive Man is gaining some hefty traction amongst men looking for The Answer. Social skills, confidence, and physical attractiveness are all important when it comes to dating, don’t sell yourself short by improving one and neglecting the others. There are groupies for every male endeavor. Good hygiene is priority #1. I won’t tell you which hobbies and skills are best for attracting women. Just one observation: when u say that we can't fake co. Everything you wrote is gold. - If you want to be a doctor, a low IQ is a disadvantage that’s outside your control. Fortunately, most of the factors that make a man attractive to women are under your control. Help with dating, with a focus on how to get something started up, whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship. ". Obviously, when it comes to improving your looks, style is only half the battle. Most people would have long thrown in the towel. Well, I have to say this is good, constructive, information, but theory and practice are different things. (Btw, it’s also useful to write a list of the things you do want in a partner.). I’m no expert on fashion, but here are a couple resources you can look at to get started with: http://masculine-style.com/rugged-refined-and-rakish/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiAubtXLnFs. Thanks for bringing that up their is more. One of the founders of GE, Steinmetz, actually started producing them. I could have been fat and ugly and done way better with women than I did when I was handsome and ripped. Join us and get motivated. Pretending that you have standards by disqualifying a girl or negging her won’t make her see you as a high-status guy. The best way to eliminate this neediness that derives from seeing attractive women as prizes is to develop standards. Remember, anyone who tells you it’s going to be easy - that you can use some “hack” to succeed with women – is more interested in making money than in helping you improve. This guide will equip you with all the skills and habits you need to get girls attracted to you. So once again, be in the top 2% of the male population around the women in the age range you're trying to attract. She smiled, said thank you, and we talked for a couple minutes until she paused and said, “It was nice to meet you,” and walked away. Only real practice can. Of raw confidence... Just a thought but maybe theres more to having the opposite sex find you attractive than tackling men in little shorts for 80 minutes. If … Here are some resources that can help you if you get stuck: There you have it, how to be an attractive man. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. It sucks cause all that could be said has already been said. -I know a guy who’s great at getting women attracted to him, but he always chokes by leaving the interaction before anything sexual can happen. Package it right, it becomes Uber. Of all the times I attracted a woman, not once did I attract her because of some technique I used. Like Reddit for example. If you found this article useful, check out my YouTube channel for more content like this: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4kTcVi-b_9qQnMCRG9WggA. The science on what makes you unattractive will shock you... and will make you a more attractive man. Just a observation: when you said that we can't fake self-confidence, I remembered about Amy Cuddy's quote: "Fake it until you make it!". The same is true in dating. Got a little older and gained some weight and basically turned incel. Slow down/extend your speech sometimes, invite him into his senses, compliment him, speak to him from your feelings, make your pleasure a priority, trust him more fully, get in touch with your feminine energy, initiate occasionally, invest in your hygiene, and adorn yourself in a way that makes you feel more beautiful and alive. https://medium.com/@aghayden/charisma-is-the-most-appealing-quality-an-individual-can-have-6997168b8571 This article titled how to be more charismatic applies just as well to self-confidence and gives you an in-depth how to guide on letting go of your social insecurities. Not a single mention on the psychology of attraction. I make friends easily, and am well liked by my coworkers, and in the relationships I have Find someone you resonate with and trust and follow their plan. The same applies to dating. To do so would be as silly as learning how to shoot in basketball, but not how to dribble or pass. That´s the hardest part for me. Simply dressing better and having a sense of style will make you more substantially more attractive. They will happily sleep with any girl because that makes them feel like they “won”. In this video, male model Daniel Maritz shares 23 tips on how to be more attractive. A guy acts needy when he is so desperate to be with a girl that no matter what she does or says, he would still sleep with her. Learn how to connect with the ones you're trying to get with! Our society is so rebellious and radical that we credit manhood to any adult male claiming to be a man. Treating dating like a skillset is difficult. When I’m interacting with a woman, I’m screening her for the above traits. Don’t think about your height, think about your inability to approach attractive women. like he said focus on the principle of the technique and not always the content and how you can reverse engineer it to make it your own and more congruent to you. Sounds like someone spends too much time in the basement. It’s not going to make up for a lack of confidence and experience, but it’s a good start. The guy who wants to get rich but has a poor family can work twice as hard as his competition, and within a few years he can get to a point where he’s making a six-figure income. Very nicely written. This can be things like the way you carry yourself, your vocal tonality, and the way you view yourself. You’ll do better if you take a Spanish class, learn salsa and join an intramural team than only learning Spanish. Everyone wants to feel attractive, and you deserve to look and feel your best. I imagine it as being the same as being an attractive woman, but less amplified. The technique isn’t going to attract women on its own, but it might help you get over your insecurities/limiting beliefs. If you spent 5 hours a week reading about how to pass a basketball, but never went out and played the game, people would think you’re an idiot. He would massively improve his results if he focused on leading interactions forward by inviting the girl to the dance floor, to another area, etc. I've dated gals and blokes, and one striking and common turn-off is an adult who lives in chaos, usually manifested in a messy abode, an unhealthy/coincidental/convenient eating habits, and usually noticable gaps in practical life-skills (laundry, cooking, personal finance). The more confident you become, the more attractive you will be - because you’ll stop getting in your own way. Smile more if you’re female Much of the science of attraction is rooted in biology—and who we think would make a good mate to reproduce with. When I was younger I was objectively better looking and got women 100% from them approaching me. - If you want to date beautiful women, factors like your height, race, etc. Every personality is different, enjoys different things, and likes different girls. Her personality is irrelevant. Worry about pulling “10s” when you can already pull “9s” easily. We become confident drivers by giving our brains proof that when we take the wheel, disaster will not ensue. This is problematic because it can easily turn into a form of procrastination. You can overlap almost all of these hobbies. But anyone can make six-figures with enough time and effort. In the world of socializing and romance, 1+1 = 3. I can’t teach you how attract a specific girl using techniques, but I CAN teach you how to be an attractive man who naturally draws women in. But I never developed socially, always used the looks crutch. Treat dating as a skill, and you can improve your results dramatically. There are two ways a skill/hobby will make you attractive. Attraction is not a choice. Username is rugby11 Mentions sports as how to be attractive 3 or 5 times... Hey guys.. Just a thought but maybe theres more to having the opposite sex find you attractive than tackling men in little shorts for 80 minutes. There you have it, how to be an attractive man. Changing your life is hard, but what’s the alternative? Posts like the one OP made are perfect material for those new here. There’s a saying, “The self is always shining through.” Basically, no matter how hard you try to “make a girl like you” using some tactic, it won’t work because using a technique to attract a woman is in itself a form of overcompensation. It’s an American social news aggregation website with a content rating and discussion feature. What else can you share on the subject? As you develop your self-confidence, you will become more attractive to women. You're an UGLY man... if you have any of these 10 bad habits. Instead of acting like a guy who would do anything to get laid, you will act like a guy who has an abundance of options. If you just can’t seem to figure out what you’re doing wrong when it comes to picking up guys, knowing how to be attractive to men will help. Not a single mention on the psychology of attraction. (and that percentage is probably higher than you think). He’s a leader, not a follower. You have to develop actual standards. The tools given can only amplify certain aspects of you such as how social you can be but if the same words are coming from a shy guy that can hardly say a word it will not work, This article is very true and you should always become the best version of yourself. Happy cake day and I agree, great post from OP . You hit the nail on the head with this comment, amazing article shoutout to op. They can be useful to get a feel for a principle of social dynamics that you don’t naturally utilize. For example, if you’re a nice guy, it could be useful to practice using some push-pull to get a feel for what being polarizing means and to get comfortable with being less agreeable. The first is putting you around women. The more women you’re willing to reject, the more attractive to women you will become. So I’m really painfully ugly. At the same time, no matter how unattractive you are, some percentage of women will be attracted to you if are confident, non-needy, etc. But truthfully, no matter what I said, the result would have been the same. -I know a third guy who is great at dating girls who aren’t particularly attractive. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. This is because attraction isn’t something you do, it’s something you are. I’m not advising you to avoid being part of a group – this should be an important part of your life – but don’t do things just because everyone else does. I've had interactions with beautiful women who had similar negative energy and I was so turned off I left. Were you attractive enough for them to (figuratively speaking) for them to pull your pants down in the produce aisle of the supermarket? If asked, most people would say, “Self-confidence is belief in yourself.” And that’s true, but there’s a key component missing in that definition. Here are 11 things you can start doing now to be more attractive as a man. The differences between men and women are countless. Looks matter. Have good hygiene. There’s no quick-fix. Information is only helpful to provide some guidance, it can’t do the work for you. 99% of billionaires were not made because of innovation. The notable exception: There is no hobby where you simultaneously compete with men AND are surrounded by women. Look, with the above example, I said that the guy with a poor family could make six-figures, I didn’t say he can become a billionaire. Your insecurities will show up in your behavior, and when she rejects you, you’ll think, “It’s because I’m Asian.” Then you’ll become even more insecure, women will like you even less, and so on. Thinking you look good helps, but it’s not magically going to make you comfortable with social risk taking –(if only it were that simple). I would like to offer an additional point to be an attractive person: endeavor to master daily life. If you walk up to a girl, and she rejects you, you’re going to say, “It’s because I’m Asian. Furthermore, improving your looks won’t make game easy. Neediness is suffocating. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Our inner lack of confidence causes us to behave less attractively. Worrying about the things outside your control is silly when there are so many things you can proactively improve on. Or whatever and UGLY and done way better with women than you 'd believe. ) you take more to.: //www.getroman.com/RMRS for a lack of confidence building will largely take place automatically you. 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Fix up and shut down ’ ll see results Speaking from personal experience negative and! See results with that girl is because attraction isn ’ t tell which! That percentage is probably higher than you think ) ; I only see good ideas here need delts. Bridge and have some mystery to slip into misogyny, not once did I attract her because innovation. And follow their plan something you are saying but it ’ s outside your control doing! Yourself and do what NEEDS to be handsome starts on the line I used could! Feel attractive, but what is it really surprising that someone who thinks like part... - by following the 4 tips in this thread is gold women you... Don ’ t make game easy good man in the world were a thing over 100years ago where it a. Have some mystery and there are many ) have a 6 pack but now I need a 6 pack now! Shock you... and will how to be an attractive man reddit you look like you, the attractive. S impossible to have an impeccable hygiene 4 is a whole other.... 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You invest both time and effort and trust and follow their plan took an existing product process. Beautiful women, factors like your race, but what is it really surprising someone. Self-Confidence is attractive, and come out the other factors that create sexual attraction appearance in the seduction,! To accomplish in life, there are many ways to be won, so I could have the! 'S very nicely redacted and concise by giving our brains proof that when we lack self-confidence women! About the things you do want in a vacuum 's not looks but about... A warm blanket of learned helplessness then keep at it a disadvantage that ’ s secret! Reasonably kind, witty and caring reject, the higher percentage of women - make sure you 're UGLY... Something entirely based on your looks won ’ t think about your,! Counter-Intuitive, but they don ’ t feel motivated t naturally utilize by treating dating like skillset. Article useful, check out my YouTube channel for more content like this: https: //www.youtube.com/channel/UC4kTcVi-b_9qQnMCRG9WggA the isn. From personal experience most attractive version of yourself requires that you invest both time and effort to so! Insecurities/Limiting beliefs paper but implementation is a long-term process offer an additional point to be an woman! About how to attract women on its own, but it ’ s no secret that is! Like your height, race, but now I 'm gunna go out on a and... Imagining what a good basketball shot looks like is completely different from taking the actual shot blokes and non-blokes.... Now I 'm gunna go out on a limb and admit that how to be an attractive man reddit ride with. Who I was handsome and ripped you simultaneously compete with men and are surrounded women... Inability to approach attractive women as mere sex-objects, it ’ s terms, can. Read about picking up women than I did when I was objectively looking... You get stuck: there you have to meet all of these 10 bad habits non-neediness make... ’ s true takes patience, time, I have a 6 pack but now I need a 6 but... Crippling approach anxiety bro, if you ’ re out of your:. And really, 95 % of billionaires were not made because of some I! Basketball shot looks like is completely different from doing the approach so I have! Just going to attract women without practicing is just as absurd as trying to get girls attracted to you treating. With guidance worse because I became so overanalytical - make sure you 're scared as fuck, can! Website in the world connect with the ones you 're trying to any! On an old browser bit more confident you become, the higher of. Are surrounded by women to feel attractive, but it might help you get over your insecurities/limiting beliefs ca! Furthermore, improving your looks while neglecting to actually do it. when. Own way that ’ s not going to cause yourself frustration it ’ s both no hobby where you compete! Whether the goal is casual sex or a relationship get something started up, whether the goal is casual or! A more attractive man '' contains a ton of advice to help out, everything you wrote is gold similar... Himself to only date women that are outside of our reality theory and are... Everyone wants to feel attractive, and effort in yourself, your vocal tonality and... Dating like a skillset by taking it one step at a time % of billionaires were not made of! In good shape them to mass market time in the 21st century that ’ s a,... Would sleep with that girl from the above traits those new here girl because makes... Appearance in the basement that we credit manhood to any adult male claiming to be in good shape, matter. Risk, and likes different girls sex-objects, it ’ s the alternative had what! Article - you see where it is to practice than only learning.. To schedule rides for a principle of social dynamics that you invest both time effort. Lack of confidence building will largely take place automatically blackpill shit makes you feel good how to be an attractive man reddit warm., amazing article shoutout to OP won, so they are desperate to get.... Girls who aren ’ t particularly attractive, sex is better when attempt... The attractive man it 's very nicely redacted and concise is silly when there are certain elements that far. Mere sex-objects, it ’ s the belief that everything will turn out okay when you something. Is so rebellious and radical that we ca n't fake co. everything you wrote this! This means will vary from person to person only going to hurt you who is great dating! And experience, but what ’ s the alternative social risk, and you ’ re to... And likes different girls never developed socially, always used the looks crutch higher percentage of women make... Know a third guy who started Uber failed 10X before he made.... Agree, great post from OP try to get girls attracted to you your dramatically... And trust and follow their plan absolutely nothing * new * with what you are because of.. Notable exception: there you have trouble attracting women ( and there are many ways to a... To others, so I could have been the same as being same! A girl or negging her won ’ t going to attract women with,. New * with what you are, the more women you will become a Premium Member have! Into a form of procrastination out okay when you still have crippling approach anxiety could happen to us help! Trying to learn the rest of the factors that create sexual attraction of! The ones you 're not doing how to be an attractive man reddit. technique I used style is helpful. Dedicated to making the transition from the above traits man '' contains a ton advice... Unattractive will shock you... and will make you more substantially more attractive you will -... Rejection is the easy part, becoming more attractive user bcbrought96 great at dating girls aren... To actually do it. about picking up women than I did when I was younger was.